Updated: Feb 17
I have always strived to be the best role model for my children, if you know me, you know that's true. Do I fall short sometimes in areas, yup, I sure do... but it's what happens next thats important. I dust myself off, stand back up, straighten out my boss mom crown, and do better next time.
My boys, now 20 and 16 have lived through so many phases of my life with me, and quite literally we have grown up together. We have an amazing bond that I'm positively sure NOTHING could ever hinder that bond we share. At the age of 38, I gave birth to one more precious gift known as, the Hadley Grace, or Haddie Mac, she's even got a boat named after her. I'd like to believe I am wiser, I have grown, I have stronger boundaries, and I have been entrusted with this precious gift from god because I am the perfect fit for this little girl to help navigate life and become a strong independent, self-aware young lady. Growth is important in our journey, and if you aren't growing, quite frankly the opposite of that is you are dying. I know she's watching me and others very closely, so I want to be the best role model for her I can. What this looks like for me is to position myself around others that reflect love, gratitude, boundaries, strength, and kindness. Where I am currently at, I am growing, I am healing, I am strong and I'll always remind myself of this and make sure to remind my daughter that whatever phase of growth she is in, that she is perfect right where she's at. I have a mug I use for my morning coffee weekly with a gentle reminder printed on it. It reads the following, "I am brave, I am healing, I am blessed. " It's a powerful reminder that I intentionally want to remind myself of weekly. We are all BRAVE... trust yourself, I promise you, you are. If you don't believe me, start with little steps towards things that you fear and show yourself that you are brave. We can all do hard things, and we are all HEALING in some way, shape, or form. We all have wounds, and past traumas that we have experienced in our past or even in our present.
In my opinion, the key is to unveil them, accept them, make peace with them, and express love for the exact things that have hurt us so that it's easier to express love and lead from a place of love and gratitude. We are all BLESSED, it's true. Stop for one minute, look around yourself, and tell yourself the exact reason you are blessed at this moment, no really, do it. It could be as simple as the fact that you have the ability to read this blog, something as simple as that is riddles with blessings. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, start small by expressing love, gratitude, and thankfulness. Then, once you create this habit and the rest will follow. Since having my daughter something that has been more than clear to me is that SHE is watching,, and that if I'm being honest is heavy. It weighs differently, it's heavy on my heart and on my shoulders. I have a responsibility to train this young lady up and to teach her so much. To do my best in helping her find herself and her own foundation in this world. To encourage and support her in growth around her strengths and weaknesses. Mostly to lead her to find her own self confidence and one that is not needing of any exterior approval, but just of her own, and that beautiful soul staring back at herself in the mirror.
One of the BIGGEST things I will teach her is to LOVE HERSELF, it's so important. We all get caught up in the "needing" of approval from our peers at points in our life. Coming to the realization that you don't need the approval of others to take that leap, crush those goals, try something new, when you get to feel that confidence in making solid choices for yourself, thats a great place to be, and those are the lessons I will teach her. #2 I will teach her to show others how they will treat her, in todays lingo, this is better known as setting boundaries, and it's so important. #3 I will teach her to use her voice to spread love, kindness, and joy. #4 I will teach her to help others without expectation of anything in return, then she can't ever be disappointed. #5 I will teach her to Just be a kind person and to not set expectations on how others should show up for her, but to be more concerned with how she's showing up for herself. And Lastly, I will teach her to say NO. What a powerful two lettered word.
The bottom line is this, my little girl is watching, your little girl is watching, your best friend's little girl is watching. They are watching our actions and the energy we put out with our actions so proceed with caution and make sure what you are putting out is something you're comfortable with receiving back.